I recall a few months back, when I had met Chigozie. Well, every girl has a particular turn on when it came to guys, some want a man with financial power, some others who were comfortably financially buoyant were interested in men who are hope less romantics; the type who could lie each morning without restraints and utter the words "I love you more than life itself". While yet some others go for the sexually endowed and the men who could fight our battles for us, any battle at all!
Of a truth, life while growing up wasn't that easy I later came to understand but as much as having a financially stable guy was intoxicating, a guy having good looks was my major turn- on, and as nature would have it, Gozie had good looks in abundance.
I remember the first time I had seen his picture on the fb page of an old friend and had sent him a request as the fear of rejection hung in my throat. But as fate would have it, he accepted my request few minutes later; that cruel fate!
I also remember the fast rhythm of my heart beat, the first time I decided to send him a message and the confusion that left sweat on my palms when I looked for a diversion, just so he wouldn't realise that I was into him.
Furthermore, I remember the joy I felt the day he asked for my number, and the way I had slept like a new born babe that night.
I even remember the first time we had a really interesting conversation, the day he had expressly told me he wanted me, the day I had overreacted and he told me to leave him be, the day I had confessed my feelings and he had said to give love a chance. But now! All that had come to nought.
Chigozie had joined me to the list of girls who pined over him. I patiently endured and ignored all the signs that fate had shown me, hoping that one day he would love me, But reality is quite harsh.
I thought of the time I had waited just for him to return my messages until late at night, I thought of the fact that I was always the first to begin a conversation. I thought of the fact that he ignored my relevant questions and would make his own demands.
Yes! In that very instant, it hit me, I had been a slave to love, a slave for the love of a guy who would never love me!
The realisation of my first rejection was quite difficult, but my days were no longer as dark as it was when I was a slave in desperate need of love to be returned. I let Gozie go with ease, even if some parties might have advised me to keep trying.
I later saved two of his gorgeous pictures, not just because he looked good in them, but to remind myself that I was never good enough for him, but I will be the excellent choice for someone far greater than him in all regards.
With that, I took a deep breath and decided that following and achieving my dreams were more fashionable at the moment.
... The fact that the relationship of your dreams doesn't work out, only means that your special someone is still out there and Better than you imagined...
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